Marriage in the 21st Century

Warning – this post may not be for you if you are the cynical type.

….But in actual fact, neither is this blog really, so maybe I didn’t need that disclaimer.

So anyway, many of you reading this will be aware that I’m engaged to my best friend/soulmate, so obviously I am pro-marriage. Luckily I am not aware of one single person who has questioned our decision, which I think is pretty cool and shows our loved ones are respectful of our choice even if their personal preferences aren’t quite aligned with ours.

So why do I believe in the importance of marriage in the 21st century? Well, there are a a billion reasons. But the main three are as follows…

Tradition.  I am, at heart, very traditional and have some old-fashioned family values. This is rooted in the experience not only of my own family but also of others families, which I have lovingly collated in my mind and woven together like an old familiar patchwork quilt. Mismatched and jumbled, but one that feels just right. In many ways, my family environment was an unconventional one when I was growing up as we were foster carers, for the bulk of my childhood my mother worked and my Dad retired very early and worked from home. I have learnt so much from them in both their marriage and divorce, and the marriages of others such as my Grandparents to have a very clear idea of the right and wrong things to do. (Or at least, try my best to do).

My Grandparents are a fantastic example of a solid marriage that has stood the test of time, as well as two of Nav’s relatives who were married for 60 years. So, I reckon that if my ancestors saw marriage as an acceptable way of life and commitment, and it worked so well for so many people, then who am I to shun a tried and tested way of living life? I’ve been reading a book called ‘The Art of Marriage’ and there’s a beautiful phrase in there – ‘The Democracy of The Dead’. What a wonderful way of thinking – the majority of all these people who have been and gone long before me did it, and it worked for them. Why wouldn’t or shouldn’t it work for me? Taking this to an extreme and taking the opposing view, you can argue that some things like racism and sexism are very likely to have been the attitudes of most of my ancestors, (what with them living all that time ago n’all) but just because that worked for them doesn’t make it right. But I’m not talking about racism or sexism, I’m talking about marriage.

If it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough for me.

Family. Now that is another reason marriage is important to me. I would never choose to have a child before I had a husband. Maybe it’s the traditionalist in me speaking again, but it’s important to me that my child shares my name, and I share my name with their Daddy. Getting engaged to someone, then marrying them, is the ultimate commitment that you are serious about your life together. What a brilliant environment to bring your children into, with two parents under no illusion about what their life together has been, and what the future holds for them as a couple.

Love. Being in a relationship with your best friend is something that you cannot even attempt to put into words, it’s that wonderful. Then being engaged? Well it’s positively delirious ecstasy. Then a wedding, followed by a long and happy marriage. I could almost spontaneously combust with joy, haha. Those of you that have experienced love know what I mean when I say nothing on earth can match the feeling of being in love. Having your lover, best friend, counsellor, play mate, partner in crime and best friend all rolled into one. Plus you get to wake up next to them every day, and they’ll still love you when you’re hungover in your pyjamas with your fake eyelash stuck to your eyebrow whining ‘Take meee to the baconnnn’.

And as for those of you that haven’t experienced love yet? Boy oh boy you’ve got so much to look forward to!

Now I try my hardest to be a ‘live and let live’ kinda girl. Those that don’t dig marriage? Well that’s cool with me. Those that don’t dig having a family of their own? Well that’s cool with me too. I’ll be honest though, those that don’t dig love? I’m such a Disney girl I believe everyone has their One out there somewhere, they’ve just got to find them. I can’t help but think that the only way you wouldn’t dig love is if you’ve been very hurt by it, or you haven’t found it yet. Although I’ve been hurt by it, and I went 21 years without finding it… *shrug* I digress, again, sorry….

Anyway my point is that I respect that choice the same way I expect my choice to be respected. Having different opinions about stuff is wonderful, and wouldn’t it be lovely if we all respected each other’s differing opinions & the world could be a bit brighter?

Here is a picture of me and my man seconds after he popped the big question. This photo gives me dizzy butterflies in my belly and feet that want to jump about everywhere. I am loved, and I can only wish that everyone felt as loved as I do. It’s cool 🙂